Editor's Note:  This is the most recent piece in a series of stories shared by Gorillas to Gorillas as we all embark upon this new "season" in our lives. These certainly are unprecedented times, for young and old alike. Our hope is for Gorilla student-athletes, past and present, coaches and members of Gorilla Nation to read these pieces, awaken their Gorilla memories and then compose their own story to share with us. There is strength in numbers.
 
When deciding on colleges I visited a lot of schools, and I mean a lot. They all had different characteristics that made them unique and special, but none of them felt like my home away from home.

They say when you step on campus you'll know when you've found the one. When I visited Pittsburg, I knew I found a little place I could call home for the next four years. Being able to say that I was going to be a Pitt State Gorilla was my new favorite thing.

Now that I am a Gorilla, I often get the opportunity to talk with recruits that come on campus.  I see the same mix of eagerness, excitement and fear that I felt myself just a couple of years ago. When telling them what being a Pitt State athlete is all about, one of my favorite things to talk about is the overwhelming pride the town has for Pitt State.

I tell them how you can't go anywhere in Pittsburg without seeing a Gorilla in a storefront window or a Pitt State flag hanging from a front porch. I also tell them that until they experience it themselves, they will never know the feeling of being at Carnie Smith Stadium on game day. The Gorilla Walk is something like no other. A sea of crimson and gold heading to the stadium brings out the competitor in everyone.

They will never know how seeing Natalie Cullen's smile and kind voice can turn your day around. And they will really never know what a hard time Phil Carr will give you down in the athletic training room – that man knows how to get the job done while also having a good time. I tell them that I hope they got the opportunity to see all of the great facilities that we have the privilege to use day in and day out, giving myself a little reality check and reminding myself how lucky I am to be an athlete at Pitt State.

Most importantly, I want these recruits to know that choosing Pitt state and getting to be a part of the Pitt State softball team is something that I would never change. As I'm sure my teammates and many other college athletes can agree, being a student athlete is HARD. We can all relate to waking up early for morning weights, long days in the classroom, practice, homework and waking up the next day only to do it all over again.

But for me, being at softball is always my favorite part of the day. Through all of the successes, failures (many failures), laughs, and hard times, I would still choose Pitt State softball and all the fantastic people it brings with it every time.

I have played with a lot of faces in my four years at Pitt State, but this year's group of girls was a special one. However, our season didn't go as planned. We played our first 28 games on the road and our 29^th one was going to be in Pittsburg. Believe me when I say, we were more than excited to get a crack on our home turf, especially since we had won eight of our last twelve games.

Unfortunately, we never got that opportunity. However, with the work ethic and determination that the Pitt State softball program has, I can confidently say that come next spring we won't waste our opportunities.

The last several weeks as a student athlete have been such a mixed basket of emotions. It began as locker room talk, COVID-19 was going to restrict our travel and possibly those who would be allowed to attend our games. Lots of talk of course, but I think I speak for everyone when I say the final decision to cancel all spring sports came as a complete shock.

We all have to hang up the cleats eventually, but let me tell you, as a senior athlete this was not the way I anticipated the end of my athletic career. My decision came easy when I was presented the rare opportunity to return to Pitt State for a fifth year of softball. Those four years I originally signed up for so quickly turned into five. It all still seemed so surreal, but I did know that another year of competition between the white lines was something I couldn't pass up. Spring of 2021 won't come fast enough.   

Our current situation brings loss, stress and challenging times for so many people. Whenever all the chaos ends, and we all return to our "normal" I know that all of the great things about Pitt State will return as well. I believe that such trying times will only bring our Pitt State family closer together. I know that come next school year, Pittsburg is going to be one great place to be.

Kaity Kukowski
 
Kaity Kukowski has started 179 of 180 career games for the Pitt State softball program the past four seasons (2017-20). The Olathe, Kan., native was an All-MIAA selection for the Gorillas in 2019. She has a .308 career batting average with 26 home runs and 98 RBIs. Kaity is an elementary education major.
 
Please share your own personal stories/thoughts via email to dwilkes@pittstate.edu. We want to share them! (PSU Athletics reserves the right to edit content for space and appropriateness. We cannot promise to publish every submission, but we will do our best.) Thanks Gorilla Nation!
 
Through the Eyes of a Gorilla Archives
Vol. I - Dan Wilkes, Associate AD/Communications (Apr. 3)
Vol. II - Levi Wyrick, Football/Track & Field Athlete (Apr. 7)
Vol. III - Amanda Davied, Women's Basketball Coach (Apr. 10)
Vol. IV - Chris Hanna, PSU Alum/Football Athlete (Apr. 13)
Vol. V - Jeff Moreland, PSU Alum/Football Athlete (Apr. 15)
Vol. VI - Emily Hanenberg, Volleyball Athlete (Apr. 17)
Vol. VII - Ashley Balazs, Softball Coach (Apr. 20)
Vol. VIII - Peter Euler, PSU Alum/CC T&F Athlete (Apr. 22)
Vol. IX - Caitlin Demarest, PSU Alum/WBB Athlete (Apr. 24)
Vol. X - Tyson Cushman, Baseball Athlete (Apr. 27)
Vol. XI - Oscar Gonzalez, PSU Alum/Men's Basketball Athlete (Apr. 29)
Vol. XII - Russ Jewett, Cross Country/Track & Field Coach (May 1)
Vol. XIII - Ronald Moore, PSU Alum/Football Athlete (May 4)
Vol. XIV - Emily Regier, Volleyball Athlete (May 6)
Vol. XV - Wendi (Rickson) Horak, PSU Alum/Softball Athlete (May 8)
Vol. XVI - Josh Lattimer, PSU Alum/Football Coach (May 11)
Vol. XVII - Brad Buckley, PSU Alum/Baseball Coach (May 13)
Vol. XVIII - Piper Misse, Cross Country/Track & Field Athlete (May 15)
Vol. XVIV - Alexa (Bordewick) Dreiling, PSU Alum/WBB Athlete (May 18)
Vol. XX - Jen Gomez, Volleyball Coach (May 20)
Vol. XXI - Harlan Hess, PSU Alum/Football Athlete (May 22)